I Am Who I Am

I grew up around black people all my life, so "good hair" and "bad hair" has been something I grew up hearing. While growing up in Brooklyn to West Indian parents I was always told that I had "bad hair".

My mother never directly told me that I had "bad hair" however, when describing other peoples hair that had a softer texture and carried more length then mine, she would refer to them as having "good hair". I had a childhood friend who told me that she would cry everyday if her hair was as nappy as mine. It never really affected me, because in my mind my hair was always "bad". My mother on the other hand took it differently. She acted as if her secret had just been exposed. She began to become defensive and she behaved childlike. I never really understood why she took it so personal, until I became an adult. I did however, like the fact that she defended me. Now I realized she was just defending herself. I just happen to be target.

When people talk about "good hair" and "bad hair" I always bring myself back to that situation involving my mother and my childhood friend. I personally don't believe there is such a thing as "good hair" and "bad hair". I feel like these adjectives negatively isolate black people and convince them into thinking that they are not good enough.

Telling someone they have "bad hair" is telling someone they aren't good enough because they are dark skin, or because they aren't light enough. I grew up putting chemicals in my hair to make it more manageable. But even the people with softer hair or "good hair" apply chemicals to make their hair more manageable. So now we have socially acceptable hair being altered just like "bad hair".

The terms "good hair" and "bad hair" needs to be buried along with the word "swag". Black children are STILL growing believing that they have "bad hair" and "good hair". They try to relax and alter their hair just to fit in, just to become like everyone else. I use relaxer to straighten out my hair but my hair doesn't define me. I use my hair to express myself, not to hide who I am. When I had my hair natural I was made fun of. My supervisor told me that my hair was unacceptable and that I could no longer come to work with my hair in its "natural state".

I believe the terms "good hair" and "bad hair" need to removed from African American households. Thick coarse hair needs to be embraced just as much as softer hair should be. These good and bad terms are just another example of the African American community oppressing one another...

Until next time...